Confessions of a Silver Fox Twin: Yes... I Might Be Obsessed With My Beard Pt. 1

Confessions of a Silver Fox Twin: Pt. 1: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall... Is My Beard Straight Yet?

A three-part story about one beard, one very patient wife, and one Silver Fox who refuses to leave the house until every hair is in place.

Written by Silver Fox Twin Roy Williams of Birmingham, Alabama

Birmingham, Ala. – My wife Patrice says I have a routine.

I call it maintenance.

She calls it an obsession.

"Patrice says I groom and pick my beard more often than some people check their phones."

Honestly...she may have a point.

Every morning before I ever leave for work, there's one thing that absolutely has to happen.

The beard has to be perfect. Not just "good enough."

If one side sticks out farther than the other...I notice.

If one little gray hair decides it wants to point in a different direction...I notice.

If my mustache curls just a little too much...

Yep...I notice that too.

Some people grab a cup of coffee first thing in the morning.

I grab a beard comb.

Welcome to life with a Silver Fox Twin obsessed with my beard.

It All Starts in the Shower

My beard routine actually begins before I ever look in the mirror.

Every morning I wash my beard thoroughly.

Every other day I shampoo it to keep it clean without drying it out.

By the time I step out of the shower, my work has only begun.

First comes the beard balm—or sometimes beard butter—to soften and condition the beard.

Next comes a few drops of beard oil.

That keeps both the beard and the skin underneath healthy.

Then I reach for my beard comb.

Every stroke has a purpose.

Every hair gets its place.

Then comes my favorite tool.

The beard pick.

That's when the transformation begins.

I fluff it.

Lift it.

Shape it.

Even it out.

Then...I step back and stare.

Not because I'm admiring myself.

Because I'm inspecting my work.

If one stubborn little hair decides to rebel...Out come the scissors.

Snip.

Problem solved.

Only then do I smile, nod in approval and finally head to work.

To me...That's simply getting ready for the day.

To Patrice...It's another episode of "Keeping Up with the Beard."

My Wife Says I've Been Like This Since College

Patrice insists this isn't anything new.

She says I've always been this way.

Back when we started dating at Jacksonville State University 39 years ago, I wasn't growing a beard.

I was growing something else: A Jheri curl.

If you grew up during the 1980s, you already know where this story is headed.

The Jheri curl wasn't just a hairstyle.

It was practically a part-time job.

I was forever checking it.

Combing it.

Fluffing it.

Making sure every curl was exactly where it belonged.

And yes...Using enough curl activator to keep the whole thing moisturized.

One day I even left an oily spot on the couch.

If you've ever seen Coming to America, you probably remember the hilarious scene where the family leaves giant greasy stains on the furniture because of all their Jheri curl products.

Let's just say...I understood that joke a little too well.

Caption: The Silver Fox Twins through the years. The hair on top may be gone, but apparently my obsession with grooming simply moved south.

Today the hairstyle is gone. The hair on top of my head disappeared years ago.

But apparently...The grooming obsession simply migrated south.

Replace curl activator with beard oil.

Replace the curl comb with a beard pick.

Replace the Afro with a Silver Fox beard.

According to Patrice...Not much has really changed.

Coming Up in Part 2 ...

You think my morning beard routine is funny?

Just wait until you find out what happens when I leave the house.

I'll share:

• Why my beard pick goes everywhere with me.

• The hilarious airport video my wife secretly recorded me picking my beard.

• How my family turned my grooming habit into their favorite comedy show.

Trust me...this is where Patrice starts collecting evidence.

Patrice’s corner: "Roy says he's just making sure his beard is even. I say the mirror gets more attention than I do some mornings."

The Silver Fox Williams Twins — Roy & TroyTwo continents. One bond. A lifetime of memories.

From the Silver Fox Williams Twins Living Series

Preserving family legacies, celebrating everyday heroes, and telling the stories that deserve to be remembered.